Star Trek Facts

The Top 10 Signs You've Watched Too Much Star Trek

1. You join NASA, hijack a shuttle, and head for the coordinates you calculated for the planet Vulcan
2. You recognize more than 4 references on this list
3. You have no life
4. You fly into a homicidal rage anytime people say "Star Trek? Isn't that the one with Luke Skywalker?"
5. Your college thesis was a Comparison of the Illustrious Careers of T.J. Hooker and Capt. Kirk
6. You went to San Francisco to see if you might bump into Kirk and crew while they were in the 20th century looking for a whale
7. Your wife left you because you wanted her to dress like a Klingon and torture you for information
8. You tried to join the Navy just so you could serve aboard the Enterprise
9. You pull the legs off your hamster so you'll have a tribble
10. You send weekly love letters to the actress who played the Green Skinned Orion Slave Girl in episode number 7

20 Things that never happen in Star Trek

1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before
2. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly alright
3. Some of the crew visits the holodeck, and it works properly
4. The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new life form, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life form wearing a funny hat
5. The crew of the Enterprise is struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay
6. The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive
7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without a serious incident
8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads
9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff
10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial
11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some sweeties
12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems
13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction
14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century
15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode
16. Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious
17. The warp engines start playing up a bit, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher
18. Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change
19. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him
20. Most things that are new or in some way unexpected